Waitlisted.

Well, let me start by saying, anything less than yes, is pure rejection. I have had a bitter sweet year; so many wonderful situations mixed with so many frustrating ones.

This year I decided to expand into some local art festivals and shows. I was hoping to introduce my Cobblestone and Reflections line to the local market. Not everyone knows that there is a steady process one must follow to get into shows which can be fairly subjective. Art festivals tend to be juried meaning that you submit photos of your work and booth and a jury or panel reviews the work of the artists and assigns the artist a score. Depending on what your score is and how it falls in the range of other like artists you may or may not be accepted into the show. Typically you will get one of three results, Accepted, Denied, or Waitlist.

This year has been the year of the waitlist for me. Technically speaking this is not a denial but a way of letting me know that my score was not high enough to get into the show but high enough that I will be in line if another or several other artists decline to do the show. Of course, I am not a glass half full girl when I get the waitlist letter. This feels like pure rejection to me. I have been devastated and my self confidence has been shaken. The jury does not send out feedback or let you know what it is that you could have done better so you the artist are left to criticize your work, your photos, your booth, and anything else you can think of. I have been wait listed for almost every show I have applied to this year. Adding salt to the wound, I realized, this means if I had only done just a little better I might have been able to turn the denials into acceptances.

So, I don't know for sure where I missed the mark but have spent hours racking my brain. I have spent thousands of dollars revamping my booth and will now send yet another set of pieces off to be professionally photographed. The jury is a tough mistress and she expects only the best. I am hopeful that by working hard to get each and every piece just a bit better that perhaps next year I will find more success.

Not everyone knows me personally but this has been a heartbreaking experience for me. Failure. I feel like I have failed in some way..... and even when I put it kindly..... I failed to live up to some expectation, I still feel this sinking in my chest that perhaps I'm just not good enough. Pair this up with a personality that doesn't allow failure and ultimately devastation occurs and then torment as now I must figure it out. I must find the missing link and fill the void of the missing piece. I must make sure that next year is better....... I can't handle another year of rejection.

What Inspires me.....

Inspiration...... I must confess that I enjoy reading what inspires artists of all mediums to create.... It's such a difficult question for me to answer directly as I believe that the inspiration to create is just an extension of who I am. It is there and the desire to see what lies in my sub-conscience as a physical entity is real. But where does such inspiration stem from? Where do I get my ideas?

Well, to be truly honest, life. My life. What I see and what I have seen creates images of how I choose to view the world. What I have experienced both good and bad drive me to find peace within my chosen medium. I find that my work is often therapeutic. There is true meaning in each piece for me. There is a story.... and it is my story, my vision, my reality. I often thought that I would be a writer of some sort growing up but find that though my story is not written in words it is still written in form. I want my work to inspire others to make each day count. I want them to see the hope and possibility we have as human beings and to find in our humanity the compassion that we often lack... to take the second of the day and appreciate it for what it is and to appreciate and value the fullness in spectrum of who we are. I want us to find the individual in the ever growing we. So this is the story I work to breathe life into and the meaning behind my pieces. So though my inspiration is not concrete.... it is what it is. It is my vision that I hope to share....

There is a part of us that is hidden within. A brighter version of ourselves that only those who truly know us can see. This small part of me is the part that I put in my work. The true optimist.... the person that I wish I could be all the time. The glass is full girl, the dreamer, the hero, the lover, the faithful..... this is the girl I know and the girl I work to build upon. The perfect me on the perfect day. This is what inspires me.... the better version of myself and the better version of the world she would imagine.

To read more stories of inspiration, check out the following blogs:

http://ninadinoff.blogspot.com/
http://www.chris-parry.blogspot.com/
http://ninagibsondesigns.blogspot.com/
http://bcyrjewelry.blogspot.com

The Weight of Metal

I can't help it, I love to fabricate my work with weight. I was pricing some new work recently and when I weighed this necklace was astounded to find that it weighed in at 58.6 grams. While I could recreate this piece for a lighter version.... I love the weight of it. I love to fabricate work that feels strong and durable.... pieces that will last.

I was speaking to a friend recently who too has this problem and it got me to thinking about why I create work that is so heavy and strong when I could fabricate the work much lighter with a lower selling point. I love strength.... it's so important to me in all aspects of my life. I love the strength of who I am as an individual and I love that the things I cherish will live through the chaos such as it is in my life. The things I love I use! I wear them, sit on them, drop them, use them...... they have to be things that will fit in my life as it is. I love the scratches and the dings that resemble the love I felt for them. I have never been one to purchase an item just so I could look at it. I want the things I love to be put to use in my life. This is why I cannot justify making work that is fragile no matter how much sense it makes from a business stand point..... Of course, that got me to thinking, perhaps those who purchase my work, love the weight too!

Twilight

Sometimes you create something and for whatever reason you walk away from it. Sometimes it remains as one piece never to be thought of again.... and sometimes.... the piece calls you back.

The Twilight Collection has done just that. It kept nagging at the back of my mind until a friend finally convinced me it deserved a place in my permanent collection.

Twilight has always been my favorite time of day. The last streams of light falling silent and steadily, the shadows that deepen and the brightness of the street lamps just before night swallows us whole. In honor of my love for this hour when everything feels a bit more magical and all dreams become possible I decided to name this new collection, Twilight, as it too plays with light and dark balancing them both with an elegant edge.

Just be.

Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? Like there was something missing? As a child I always felt like an oddity even among the oddities! It's something that has frustrated me all my life. This feeling of not really belonging. A few years ago I decided to give it my best shot. I really worked hard to say and do the right things until I felt like I wasn't even sure who I was anymore. My husband kept telling me that when I reached my thirties everything would change. That something shifts ever so slightly and you stop caring about what everyone else thinks. I guess he was right because as I move into my thirties I do find that I am more willing to embrace the best and less gracious aspects of who I am. I feel more willing to allow others to see me as I am.

This is why I decided to use the tag line just be. In a climate where everyone feels the need to blend within the group I wanted to embrace those who stand a part. Whether this be the individual hidden within or the outrageous that beats to her own drum. It is the ultimate challenge as a woman to love ourselves thoroughly and with a maturity that embraces the fullness of all the many facets. Yes, I am wild and crazy, Yes, I jump headfirst, Yes, I speak my mind without thinking, Yes, I make mistakes, Yes, I have regrets, but that is me. Full of life and breath and without these I would no longer be me so I embrace them. And as I allow myself to embrace the things I wished for many years I could change I realize the best parts of me stand taller and prouder than before because Yes, I am compassionate, Yes, I love animals, Yes, I give to those in need, Yes, I stand up for what I believe in, Yes, I help others.... and the image shifts creating a full portrait of an individual I admire.

So just be is just that. be. Be full, fearless, bold, and unapologetic for all of the many dynamic qualities that make you, you and me, me. A celebration of those unwilling to change for they know that without the valleys the peaks would not be near as high.

EtsyMetal Charm Swap

It can be a lot of fun to get involved in a group project with other artists. Etsymetal, a team of fabulous metalsmiths who sell their work on Etsy, started the charm swap amongst artists last year as a way to collect great work from other EM artists. The first charm swap was a great success and featured such amazing work that a charm bracelet was fabricated featuring all of the charms and is for sell in the Etsymetal shop.

I signed up to participate in the third charm swap on EM after I got tired of being jealous of all of the wonderful work! Each artist makes 22 charms and they are sent to one person who repackages them one for each artist and mailed back out. An extra set of charms is used for the EM charm bracelet and is listed on Etsy for sale. I have already gotten a sneak preview of some of the artists charms and I'm so excited I can hardly wait!

Really, 32?

I recently had the pleasure of celebrating my 32nd birthday and I keep thinking to myself, really, 32? It's hard to imagine! Of course, the best part of turning a year older is that it means my sister is as well! The slight twinge of disappointment is always traded in for the sheer glee of giving her a harder time still.

I often look at the years as a massive map with drawn out plans for my life. Though my life rarely follows the step by step instructions I have written, it helps me to realize where I am , where I thought I would be, and where I fell short. I know it is a bit neurotic and I am trying really hard to do away with this type of thinking all together but it is a bit compulsive very much like I am.

So it is up to Theo, Kai, and Maya to remind me to celebrate my youth (however fleeting)! There is always time for a long walk in the woods, a game of fetch, an extra cookie! So here is to 32, and really, it doesn't feel that different than 31!