It's all Possible.

Dogwood Festival

I have always had private markers stretched out before me that I felt would check off points of personal success. Things I want but wasn't sure I could achieve. Some of them are short-term goals and some of them long.

In my own mind these things can be a bit intimidating. They are the things that push me to keep moving forward but also bring out the dark secretive thoughts that criticize my work and fear it is not good enough. It's a yen and a yang though for without the fears..... I would not continue to evolve and push myself and through pushing myself I sometimes find I can achieve these goals that seem so difficult when set.

One of my personal goals has been to exhibit at the Atlanta Dogwood Festival. Considered the premiere show in Atlanta it showcases some pretty extraordinary talent and has course some amazing metalsmiths. Every year I apply and each year I have been declined invitation.

Today I was throwing myself a small pity party, as I was not invited to a local show that highlights both local and national metalsmiths. All of the voices in my head came out to join the party when I received the e-mail congratulating me for my acceptance to the Atlanta Dogwood Festival. Instant validation prevailed and I realized that I have come so far and perhaps a small nod of encouragement from myself would not be outlandish.  This is a big step mentally for me and I feel that I am on track and moving in the right direction. Again, I must remember to believe in the possibilities and myself even when they seem distant.


Never give up. Always believe. It is all possible.

Recharged...

Sometimes a few days to step away can make all of the difference. This is the first weekend since I can remember that I did not spend a single second in the studio. I ate well, drank well, and generally spent my time enjoying myself.

I think sometimes life can be taken too seriously and only time away can remind you that this great adventure is first and foremost supposed to be fun.

Don't sweat the small stuff and yes, most of it is small stuff!

Escape.

It's time to rest my mind for a few days and find some inner peace before the rush of the holidays begins. It's been a long year and there has been triumph and loss, love and sadness, new beginnings and chapters ending....

I like to stop when things get to be too much. Just stop. Remember where I am and look back to see where I have been. This helps me to realign myself and choose a new direction and decide where I want to go.

So my husband and our two good friends will be heading off to the mountains for a few days of good food, wine, and fresh crisp air. I can barely wait. I can already feel the release inside.

Standing Up....... Even when it hurts.

What do you do when you believe with every part of yourself that something is wrong? What do you do when you see someone wronged in a way that turns your stomach? Do you stand up or turn and look away? Do you secretly support them or do you support them for all the world to see? Do you risk it all or do you offer only what you are willing to risk? How far do you go in your support? Does it run deep or is it on the surface?

I am saddened to live in a world where I often see people walk away from things they believe are wrong. It's so easy to choose to walk away or to believe that these things are none of our business and yet I can't help but wonder if we all choose to walk away.... do these things become prevalant and tolerated in a society to such a point that they then become permissable? Do we leave the world a better place by denying that which we do not want to deal with?

Currently I am mulling over a situation that has occured that I cannot tolerate, justify or condone. I believe that most things in life are black and white..... that wrong is wrong and right is right. I try to point my inner compass to that which I can stand behind and admit fully and freely to anyone, anywhere. I believe that each step I take in life must be defended and if I do that which I know is right, I can stand proud with my head held high, come what may. And yet...... I find myself torn as to how to feel and what to do about this situation. Does a group's failures become an individual's failures by association? Do these things reflect upon me as an individual. No matter how I try to navigate around this question, I continue to come back to the fact that it does. And though it would be easier to look away or to look at things from such an angle that they can be ignored in my heart I feel that it is not true to who I am.

I want to believe in the things that I represent and the things that represent me. Is it melodramatic? Some would say yes..... Even silly to lose something you hold dear for another you do not know. In the end they say, it will change nothing..... And yet. I know that it will change me. Little by little I will become the girl who walks away. Who justifies my failure to stand up for that which I believe in because it is not my fight.

My best and worst quality..... it is the same. It is a passion that I live with. It divides me some days and it holds me true on others. It gets me into trouble and it helps me break down barriers. And yet, it is the fire which holds me steady and true in the path that I walk. And this no matter how I rearrange it, is true.

So though I may stand alone and though I may change nothing, and though I may lose something I hold dear, I must stand because standing is what I do so that I will never forget how.

Friends You Can Count On...

What an amazing group.

I joined Etsy Metal several years ago hoping to make friends and connect with people with the same passion for metal....

Little did I know that over the years I would connect with some of the greatest people I know. This is a little thank you to a group that has supported me in hard times and celebrated with me in good. Some of the most passionate and talented people I know..... and also some of the biggest hearts! Thank you!

Please visit the Etsymetal site to immerse yourself in a wonderful world of metal and craft..... Etsy Metal

A little bit of Soul

Words Speak To Me....

My husband and I listen to music in two different ways. I have to connect to the lyrics as well as the music and he only the music. Half of the time he has no idea what the words being sung actually are.....

I have been on the lookout for new music. I love finding something new and fresh. Something that speaks to me from a deep place. This creates the energy I need to create. Often times the music on my ipod is instrumental in what happens physically with the torch and the metal.

Recently I found Joshua James. He vocalizes in such a way that he creates images from a deep inner part of the soul. He carries me through the drifting fog and uplifts me no matter how dark the sky is outside my window.

If you are in search of something new to play, check him out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_LLL5-pa2s&feature=player_embedded

Dangerous

The TV’s blaring, the radio is turned up loud
Maybe then I’ll sleep well, maybe then I’ll drown you out.
Don’t want to think much I don’ t want to reminisce
Cuz love songs and poems have all lead, they’ve all led me to this.
Chorus:
It’s dangerous, to be sleepin alone.
And it’s way way way it’s way to cold
To be at home.
I’ve locked up tightly I must say I’ve had my doubts
Cuz they will kick and they will scream but there’s no way they’re ever getting out.
They breathed fresh air once, a long time a long time ago.
And now stuck up inside my head, how they ever gonna grow?
Chorus:
It’s dangerous, to be sleepin alone.
And it’s way way way it’s way to cold
To be at home.
And I am what I am, yes I am what I am
It ain’t that bad.
What I’m tryin to say here is not worth, it’s not worth your time
I’m just a lonely, a lonely love sick boy with my rhyme.
Chorus:
It’s dangerous, to be sleepin alone.
And it’s way way way it’s way to cold
To be at home.
And I am what I am, yes I am what I am
It ain’t that bad.
And even the toughest white boy, yes even the baddest white boy
He still gets sad.

Done and Done.

I looked at my calendar and realized something strange.... Something has changed since I first started Delias Studio, Inc. There are strange notations and blocks of time wiped out, there are odd numbers written in margins and odd acronyms like BMAC and check marks, tallies, and stars..... what does it all mean?

My understanding of the months and seasons has evolved to something from a science fiction mini-series. It seems that there is now a constant flow ..... get ready, go, get ready, go, get ready, go....... breathe...... get ready, go, get ready, go, and though my balance is on par with that of a adolescent great dane, all legs and no grace, I have somehow found a mesmerizing rhythm to this new concept of time.

So alas, last weekend was my last show for awhile and though the excitement was well, exciting! I am ready for the break. I am ready to get back in the studio and fabricate some of the ideas that have bouncing in my head. Of course, I do not have too much time as we all know November and December are right around the corner but for these precious few weeks I hope to play with some stones that have been sitting on my bench and work out some concepts that I have been drawing in my sketch book. This for me is the best time of the year, winter is coming and with it..... the time to design new work!