Do you ever think about the path not traveled? I love my life but still sometimes I wonder about all the lives I left behind when I chose mine. It surprises me still the person I have become over the person I thought I would be.
I always thought I would wander more.... I wanted to be a journalist for the National Geographic, I wanted to be a tattoo artist, I wanted to join the Peace Corp., I wanted to teach English in Japan..... So many lives I left behind when I chose this one.
I never thought of myself living a fairly ordinary life. My parents led me on a journey of constant variety. In 1988 my parents packed my sister and I up in a Ford Van and we followed the Grateful Dead. My first concert ever was James Taylor followed by Pink Floyd when I was 12. We sold "dancing egg rolls" and tie dye t-shirts, We lived at a campground in California for a month..... none of these would lead one to believe that I would grow up to be such a predictable adult.
It is because of this that from time to time I wonder what it would be like to keep driving right past my exit. What would it be like to sell everything and just live day by day? Then I remember all of the wonderful things I have in my life that fulfill me and I know with certainty that these other lives are only wonderful because they are how I imagine them in a mere moment. The realities of these other lives would surely and eventually turn into a grind and the up side would eventually plateau. It is because I can keep them as visions warm in my mind and delightful in the fact that they were paths I never actually traveled that makes them glorious. Yet from time to time I enjoy a good daydream about all the lives I didn't live and the person I didn't become.
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4 comments:
Love it Delias. I feel exactly the same way. I traveled following the Grateful Dead for a while too, 1992. I wonder if I saw you on the road. One always wants to drive past the exit once you have a taste of the road.
xoxoxo
Thanks for sharing
Tiff
Great post Delias.
I like to think that I don't have to choose. Though I am finally getting ready to buy a home and "settle down", I plan on buying and living below my means because I still want to pick up and live in Bali or Morocco and teach digital photography to kids.
Tiffany,
We were on "Ain't no time to hate, summer tour 88" My parents actually worked clean-up crew for Billy Graham presentations so I was lucky enough to get to meet my idol, Mickey Hart.
Elizabeth, Yes, I do my best to walk a fine line. My husband and I plan to move to Greece when we retire but for now with three black labs, one cat and a mortgage we are fairly grounded.... for awhile anyway. Chapter Two will arrive eventually though!
As always, Delias, your writing and your work continue to amaze and delight me...
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