Standing Up....... Even when it hurts.


What do you do when you believe with every part of yourself that something is wrong? What do you do when you see someone wronged in a way that turns your stomach? Do you stand up or turn and look away? Do you secretly support them or do you support them for all the world to see? Do you risk it all or do you offer only what you are willing to risk? How far do you go in your support? Does it run deep or is it on the surface?

I am saddened to live in a world where I often see people walk away from things they believe are wrong. It's so easy to choose to walk away or to believe that these things are none of our business and yet I can't help but wonder if we all choose to walk away.... do these things become prevalant and tolerated in a society to such a point that they then become permissable? Do we leave the world a better place by denying that which we do not want to deal with?

Currently I am mulling over a situation that has occured that I cannot tolerate, justify or condone. I believe that most things in life are black and white..... that wrong is wrong and right is right. I try to point my inner compass to that which I can stand behind and admit fully and freely to anyone, anywhere. I believe that each step I take in life must be defended and if I do that which I know is right, I can stand proud with my head held high, come what may. And yet...... I find myself torn as to how to feel and what to do about this situation. Does a group's failures become an individual's failures by association? Do these things reflect upon me as an individual. No matter how I try to navigate around this question, I continue to come back to the fact that it does. And though it would be easier to look away or to look at things from such an angle that they can be ignored in my heart I feel that it is not true to who I am.

I want to believe in the things that I represent and the things that represent me. Is it melodramatic? Some would say yes..... Even silly to lose something you hold dear for another you do not know. In the end they say, it will change nothing..... And yet. I know that it will change me. Little by little I will become the girl who walks away. Who justifies my failure to stand up for that which I believe in because it is not my fight.

My best and worst quality..... it is the same. It is a passion that I live with. It divides me some days and it holds me true on others. It gets me into trouble and it helps me break down barriers. And yet, it is the fire which holds me steady and true in the path that I walk. And this no matter how I rearrange it, is true.

So though I may stand alone and though I may change nothing, and though I may lose something I hold dear, I must stand because standing is what I do so that I will never forget how.

4 comments:

Danielle Miller-Gilliam said...

Very esoteric...even TO the group you are speaking about. I must say I do not understand and I am hurt. I do not think this was not your intention, but it still how I feel. I pray you explain your reasons so our group can discuss possible change and GROWTH.

Wendy and Claudio said...

Oh Delias you sound so let down and hurt :(

CrowNology said...

Stand.
I stand all the time and it makes me unpopular. It's hard but I can look myself in the eye.
Do what is right because it is the right thing to do.
I hope you find some peace and know that you have done the right thing for you.
Best wishes,
a

Louise said...

I can't pretend that I know what 'particular' you are talking about....but it is my opinion that too many people walk away these days....and it makes the world a lesser place.
Your intuition will tell you straight away what the 'right' decision for you is.
If you ignore your intuition it will 'niggle' at you for a long time.
Trust yourself.....