Shades of Gray

This passage of time feels endless and I have found my world flipped and turned upside down. Reaching deep inside I search for strength to accept what I never knew was possible. Sharp corners - inside my mind feeding me endlessly and I wonder if they were always there. The angles are endless and what I once saw as pure I know was contaminated but not knowing at the time I swallowed it whole and built a life believing what I held as truth, was. I find myself looking at my life like shattered glass and I wonder how shattered glass can be both brilliantly beautiful and hauntingly sad? What do we do with the pieces? And like the chapters previous I know this too shall pass. It will be what it is and I know that accepting that is the only truth I can hold onto. I must celebrate it but I can't seem to find the courage to believe. So I go on because this is what I would tell another..... you must move forward, you must continue, there is no other choice, there is no other direction, you cannot go back, you must continue until the distance between the future and this fades into softer shades of gray.

From out of the shadows...

I often find that when my life leads to utter and complete chaos, my creativity spikes and my understanding of who I am and my place in the world turns concrete. I wish I could capture this part of the drama and hold it in my pocket but it seems that from out of the shadows this gift comes and I am grateful to be greeted by it. The wheels begin to grind and time spent in the studio allows me to escape from the world at large. Unfortunately I am in such a time now. The world at large is banished to a far corner and I creep to the studio looking for the solace that comes from doing something well and keeping oneself so preoccupied that the dark haunting thoughts that want to enter my mind are barred for a short while. I find strength in who I am when sitting at the bench. There is no pretense, no misunderstandings, no need to try to appear to be something I am not. I can just be and breathe and work. Me and the metal as one forging our way through hours of time as the hands slip around the clock. Perhaps this is what drew me to the arts in the first place. It is the only time I feel no need to be ashamed or cautious. It just is.

From the deepest part of me comes the latest concept that I am defining to collaborate with my current Element Collection. Not sure where it will go but there will be plenty of hours in the studio to discover the path.

The Path Not Traveled....

Do you ever think about the path not traveled? I love my life but still sometimes I wonder about all the lives I left behind when I chose mine. It surprises me still the person I have become over the person I thought I would be.

I always thought I would wander more.... I wanted to be a journalist for the National Geographic, I wanted to be a tattoo artist, I wanted to join the Peace Corp., I wanted to teach English in Japan..... So many lives I left behind when I chose this one.

I never thought of myself living a fairly ordinary life. My parents led me on a journey of constant variety. In 1988 my parents packed my sister and I up in a Ford Van and we followed the Grateful Dead. My first concert ever was James Taylor followed by Pink Floyd when I was 12. We sold "dancing egg rolls" and tie dye t-shirts, We lived at a campground in California for a month..... none of these would lead one to believe that I would grow up to be such a predictable adult.

It is because of this that from time to time I wonder what it would be like to keep driving right past my exit. What would it be like to sell everything and just live day by day?  Then I remember all of the wonderful things I have in my life that fulfill me and I know with certainty that these other lives are only wonderful because they are how I imagine them in a mere moment. The realities of these other lives would surely and eventually turn into a grind and the up side would eventually plateau. It is because I can keep them as visions warm in my mind and delightful in the fact that they were paths I never actually traveled that makes them glorious. Yet from time to time I enjoy a good daydream about all the lives I didn't live and the person I didn't become.

Another Busy Day

Spent another day working to get ready for BMAC. So this is sorta what I had in mind for the new layout. It's tough to see and I am trying to get an idea of how the cases will work in a very tight space but I think you can get the general idea. My only thought now is; is it too dark brown/black? Does it look too flat? I can't decide if I need to add another color element. I am always trying to be super cautious as I want the work to be really clean and clear..... I think I may consider changing the inside color on two of the cases from dark brown to a light linen just to break it up a bit.

Carlos was super great cutting all of the foam board for me to measure. How many weekends has he spent doing stuff for me? He can be pretty incredible but I can't cut a straight line if my life depended on it so I am so fortunate to have his help! Thanks Carlos!

Redesign for BMAC

With the Buyer's Market show just a few weeks away I am spending most of my weekends getting ready. I had once thought that once I came up with a booth display - I would be done. Not true. There is a constant need to reinvent, redesign, and solve problems in general.

Last year I shipped my booth to Philadelphia from Atlanta. The cost was amazingly competitive on the way there and I was shocked to find the price quite different on it's return. I have learned to truly appreciate the concept; light as a feather. This year I will be driving to the show but later in the summer I have a show in Las Vegas,  knowing that,  I am challenging myself to design a beautiful booth at a bargain price and as light as I can possibly keep it. When you are paying per pound; every ounce counts!

The cost to purchase jewelry display items always amazes me. It seems you will either find selection at a high price or no selection at a low price. In addition I found using busts and general jewelry display items in my case has a crowded look. This year I spent a lot of time thinking about how to create a cleaner look and of course to keep it light.

This is the first step leading to the new design. I'm really excited as it looks like it is going to turn out well. I purchased floral arrangement foam and spray painted them black. They now almost look like charcoal or stone. Very cool. I am going to use these as risers to create different levels in the cases. On the top of each riser I am using colored foam board in white and black cut in squares. The jewelry will sit on the boards with the risers underneath. I will be sure to send a picture once I have a set together but I am loving the concept. Super light and all the pieces can fit in a very small space. 

I will be writing about this on my next few posts..... all the things I am doing to get ready for the mega wholesale show. So very much to do! Just to cross a few things off my list I managed to get over to Home Depot to purchase additional bulbs, halogen light fixtures and electric cord. Left before realizing I meant to double up on everything! If something can go wrong, it probably will. Always best to have two of everything you cannot function without just in case!

Most of the new line is ready and I am excited to offer a little peak here. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. This is a new look but it feels right and I really want to continue to explore it. Lets hope my retailers are as in love with it as I am!

Hammer, metal, and punches....

I really enjoy creating unique textures in metal. There is something fabulous about the process.... Taking small punches and creating patterns, oxidizing the finished piece and waiting for the complete picture to be unveiled....

I have collected punches for chasing from all sorts of random places and have even made some of my own. An old hex key and a flex shaft can create some really interesting patterns.

This cuff took about four hours to complete. I really loved the process of fabrication and would love to continue making them but I think I will have to break it down across several days to save the pressure on my neck and back.

Just thought you would enjoy a little in the process photo.....

Refine, Refine, Refine!!!!!

Oh goodness how do we take an idea and bring it to fruition and how many drafts must it go through before we reach the desired effect?

With precious metal prices being what they are I am almost afraid to play and yet I am just not one of those people who can work in anything but the metal itself. I have tried creating models in the past but just never felt like they helped me truly understand what the finished piece would look like so yes... I know... bad delias..... works in sterling even for ideas.

Well I know I am onto something here but I am not there yet. I think the textured metal needs to really slope outward and be much wider with a lot more movement in the broken edge. Next week I go to pick up metal so I will have to try it again because I just know that it is so close to being something rather cool.